Friday

Ahh Friday. I am happy to see you. It's been a short week actually as we had an unexpected snow day on Monday. Much of that day was spent sitting at this table drinking coffee...

I also made a batch of Pamela's vegan chocolate chip cookies - one of our favorites, especially straight out of the freezer. I am embarrassed to admit that our small household devoured the entire batch in less than two days. I recently discovered that I have an egg sensitivity. Another stellar cookie recipe (that also happens to be egg-free) are these peanut butter ones from Heidi Swanson (again best enjoyed straight from the freezer).

Speaking of Heidi Swanson, you should give her toasted coconut milk a try...

It's been a quietly emotional week. The kind where a bit of melancholy sits below the surface and I can't quite put a finger on it. I am sure the weather is a contributing factor, as are current events but I realized the source is close to home. Kindergarten tours are going on right now so the realization that my son will be one of those little people come September is sinking in. I have this sweet photo of him posted on the inside of my closet at the studio that I've been spending a lot of time looking at...

Children have a profound way of showing you just how quickly time goes by. And while I find great joy in watching D grow and become a little person, at times it feels too fast. I'm feeling that right now. A mix of joy and sadness all at once.

I think a lot about what my favorite poet-philosopher David Whyte said in this conversation that one of the delusions we have is that we can "take a sincere path in life without having our heart broken. And you think about the path of parenting, there’s never been a mother or father since the beginning of time who hasn’t had their heart broken by their children. And nothing traumatic has to happen. All they have to do is grow up."

To combat the melancholy I've been spending a lot of time in the kitchen which has always been an excellent form of therapy for me. I've also been writing - lists and letters and just general thoughts which has been made even more enjoyable since I finally bought myself a proper pen. Two actually. Both are brass which I think will patina beautifully. This one for home...

And this one (also available here) I take with me always along with a lined Moleskine notebook...

I also wrote down this quote from Willem Dafoe in my notebook which is pretty much my mantra...

“There’s a real wisdom to not saying a thing.”

It speaks to the introvert in me, but also perfectly explains my personal ethos as a teacher.

Happy weekend.

Stubborn Gladness

A BRIEF FOR THE DEFENSE

Sorrow everywhere. Slaughter everywhere. If babies
are not starving someplace, they are starving
somewhere else. With flies in their nostrils.
But we enjoy our lives because that's what God wants.
Otherwise the mornings before summer dawn would not
be made so fine. The Bengal tiger would not
be fashioned so miraculously well. The poor women
at the fountain are laughing together between
the suffering they have known and the awfulness
in their future, smiling and laughing while somebody
in the village is very sick. There is laughter
every day in the terrible streets of Calcutta,
and the women laugh in the cages of Bombay.
If we deny our happiness, resist our satisfaction,
we lessen the importance of their deprivation.
We must risk delight. We can do without pleasure,
but not delight. Not enjoyment. We must have
the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless
furnace of this world. To make injustice the only
measure of our attention is to praise the Devil.
If the locomotive of the Lord runs us down,
we should give thanks that the end had magnitude.
We must admit there will be music despite everything.
We stand at the prow again of a small ship
anchored late at night in the tiny port
looking over to the sleeping island: the waterfront
is three shuttered cafés and one naked light burning.
To hear the faint sound of oars in the silence as a rowboat
comes slowly out and then goes back is truly worth
all the years of sorrow that are to come.

Jack Gilbert

Read more about Jack Gilbert and his work here.

January 27

As I've mentioned before, I have a cookbook problem. An addiction really. Cookbooks and Clare V bags (as demonstrated by my purchase of this beauty today that was an extra 25% off and is in army green suede)...

Yep. So back to cookbooks, I've only been allowing myself to check them out from the library as of late but then a friend gave me a gift card to the local cookshop and I walked straight to the back and picked up these two that have been on my wishlist...

Gjelina (which includes the recipe for that amazing Kabocha, Olive Oil and Bittersweet Chocolate Cake)...

And Julia Turshen's Small Victories which is crazy good for both a novice in the kitchen and the well-seasoned home cook. The recipes are delicious and simple and she also shares some really fantastic tips. Like the one to make a perfect margarita without a shaker which I utilized this evening...

"Whisk together the juice of one lime with 1 Tbsp agave nectar and 3 Tbsp good-quality tequila. Serve over plenty of ice."

Last night for dinner I made her Potluck Quinoa which was stellar - comprised only of quinoa, hazelnuts browned in a good amount of olive oil, lemon juice, arugula, dill and Maldon salt. 

Image from On Being

I've been working my way through the On Being archives and just listened to Krista's conversation with Gwendolyn Zoharah Simmons and Lucas Johnson. It was recorded nearly two years ago but current as ever. Lucas's words on "revolutionary pacifism" stuck with me (especially the bit about the importance of "internal work")...

“Muste would talk about a revolutionary pacifism, right? That was his expression and that was his way of describing this notion of direct engagement. Pacifism was not about neutrality while injustice was around you but it was about finding the courage to respond in love. And I think that it begins with a commitment to love. I describe it as a spiritual discipline, right, as something that requires a lot of internal work in order to see others as opponents but not enemies, to see others a part of the social transformation that you’re seeking to create.”

In the same vein I love this shirt from Everlane...

I also bought these really fantastic pants from Kit & Ace for teaching at the studio. But they look so great and have a nice heavy drape, more like a trouser, that they'd make a great travel pant and are totally appropriate for wearing out on the town...

A few weeks ago we had a stretch of some pretty cold temps which had me searching for a pair of proper winter boots. If the cold returns I think I'd like to order these!

Happy New Year!

Image @Drawbertson

Giving Thanks

We just returned from four days together in San Diego. Four days of no iphones, no Instagram, no news. We took photographs with a point and shoot camera instead of our phones. We just enjoyed time together that looked like this...

And this...

It felt so good to create some space and limit the amount of "input" I was exposing myself to so I'm going to keep it going. I deleted Instagram from my phone so I wouldn't be tempted throughout the day to pick it up and just mindlessly flip through. Instead of NPR and the NY Times, I've been listening nonstop to On Being. I've been trying to write a post about Krista Tippett and On Being for several months (and I mentioned it back in September). I still can't find the right words, so again I'll just urge you to start listening.

“On Being opens up the animating questions at the center of human life: What does it mean to be human, and how do we want to live? We explore these questions in their richness and complexity in 21st-century lives and endeavors. We pursue wisdom and moral imagination as much as knowledge; we esteem nuance and poetry as much as fact.”

From here.

I am thrilled to be hosting Thanksgiving this year and am ready to put our new kitchen through its paces. At this very moment I have the house to myself and while I listen to the new Kings of Leon album, chicken stock is burbling next to me. By the way I'm head over heels for my Miele induction cooktop. One of these days I will give you a full report on the kitchen...

If you have never made homemade stock before, it is so easy and the reward is rich. You can always trust Pamela Salzman. Find her basic chicken stock recipe here. I love PCC which is where I do nearly all of my grocery shopping and in the freezer section in the meat department you can find organic chicken backs/bones and even chicken feet which are stellar for stock and all super affordable.

If you've made stock before, you know that as soon as it starts to boil a pretty unsightly foam appears on the surface which you are supposed to skim off. If you've never made stock it looks like this very un-Instagram worthy photo...

A cool trick I learned from a cooking class at The Pantry awhile back, is to put the bones in the pot, cover with water and bring to a boil and just let the bones boil for 10 minutes to bring out all the impurities. After 10 minutes, pour it all into a colander and rinse/clean the bones in cold water. Put the bones back in the pot and fill with clean water and begin your stock. Not only do you not have to fuss with trying to get all the foam out but it results in a beautifully clear looking (and tasting) broth. After it has cooled and I've skimmed the fat, I freeze my stock in these containers...

Next up on my to do list is pie dough.

I come from a line of epic pie bakers. My grandmother used to make her crust by feel, a scoop full of flour, some fat, a little salt, a little water. That sense was not passed down to me, but I took one of the very first Pie Ninja classes that Brandy taught when she opened The Pantry. She completely demystified the seemingly impossible feat for many of making a pie with a flaky butter crust. The world needs more pie. If you're intimidated, again you can trust Pamela Salzman. Find her apple pie recipe here. She'll even show you how to make the crust, roll it out and get it into the dish...

Also, it's good to know that flour goes rancid quite easily. Fresh flour pretty much has no smell. If you open up your bag of flour that has been sitting in your cupboard for several months and it has a distinct smell, it is bad. You might even think that that smell is what flour is supposed to smell like. Dump it. If you live locally, find Stone-Buhr flour from the good people of Shepherd's Grain at PCC. Also if you are like me and don't often use AP white flour, you might want to store it well sealed in the freezer to prolong its life.

With all that has gone on in the last few weeks, I am hopeful, and I am grateful. If anything I think many of us have replaced a sort of complacency with a new sense of ownership in our lives asking ourselves, "What can I do?" Where to begin? Open your mind and your heart and your eyes to others around you. When you are waiting in line for your coffee, or sitting alone at lunch, whatever it is, resist the urge to look down at the device in your hands and instead lift your head up and appreciate the humanity that surrounds you.

With immense gratitude, have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

And hell yes REI. #optoutside

The Stutterer

Rain, Rain Here to Stay...

It is pouring today, a proper Seattle-in-October rain. When I took my son to preschool this morning we suited up in our rain boots and raincoats and carried an...umbrella. I had to chuckle as we stood there waiting to go into school when I realized we were the only ones. This may seem strange to anyone else that does not live in Seattle but the majority of Seattleites do not carry umbrellas. My entire four years at UW I never owned an umbrella. I would walk with the masses of umbrella-less students all over campus in my REI parka, hood pulled tight over my head, drenched everywhere but my torso and unflinching. Growing up here you kind of learn to be one with the rain. 

I finally became a habitual umbrella carrier somewhere in my late twenties, and it was probably more of a sartorial decision than a practical one. I finally decided I didn't want to wear the same outdoorsy rain shell from REI with my work clothes or heaven for bid dress clothes (another sure sign of a Seattleite).

So alas, if you are in your thirties and still find yourself braving the rain without an umbrella this is the one to keep in your bag, car or at work. (For home we have this larger stick umbrella.) 

And not just for damp days, if you still don't have a classic trench coat in your wardrobe, this is a great one...

And finally, I LOVE my Sorel rainboots that I got last October. But these Rag and Bone moto ones are a bit of a step up and look pretty fantastic...

You Need A Budget

One of the most life-changing things I've done this year is finally taking Omar's advice and start using You Need a Budget. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It gives such a clear overall picture of where our money is (and goes) and has completely changed our relationship to money and how we make future plans like saving for a vacation or retirement. Plus since both A and I are self-employed, we can also easily track the overhead for our business accounts, set aside money for estimated tax payments, expenses etc all under the same umbrella as our personal stuff so we finally have a good overall picture of where we stand. All that is super good and important but the real kicker? It is actually really fun to use. It's like my kind of video game.

No need for me to tell you more since Omar wrote a perfect write up about it here. So go read that and then go use it. Seriously. 

Now I'm trying to find room in the budget for this beauty from Clare V...

And these oxfords...

Black or blush?

Begin Again

Beautiful vintage indigo cloth from Marine Area 7

A few years ago my friend Rita gave me some sage advice that I still carry with me on a daily basis. I had mentioned how I was frustrated at the time that I had fallen off my own regular Pilates routine. I was re-hashing how maybe it was because I had a toddler at home and was juggling so much and that finding time for self-care no matter how much we enjoy it can be challenging...blah, blah, blah. Typical me, trying to find an explanation as to "why" beating myself up a bit in the process.

Rita wisely said, "We just begin again."

So here I am, two months absent from my last post, beginning again.

This week definitely feels like a new beginning. Today my son is back on his regular preschool schedule. This week also marks a new schedule change for me at the studio which allows me to better balance my home life/work life/husband's travel schedule. The weather here is incredibly beautiful - bright sun without a cloud in the sky but a not insignificant chill in the air. Change is coming.

The last two months have been full of home improvement projects. The kitchen of course (post on that forthcoming) and the exterior got a new coat of paint...

I've been happily spending all of my free time working out in the yard, cutting back plants and hauling and spreading mulch and wood chips. And for the first time I got it together to do a fall planting and put some kale and chard starts in the ground.

Working solo in the yard has also served as a bit of a refuge from the challenge of parenting a four year old who over the last few weeks has more resembled a mad king. At least that's how it feels. So far, four years old feels especially contradictory in that the highs are really high, magical even, where I can't believe my luck getting to be with this little person. But the lows are low, exposing what can feel like the worst in ourselves. Impatient and ungraceful. But the beauty therein lies that even when I am not my best self, tomorrow is a new day and a new beginning.

A huge bright light in the last few months has been discovering this not new podcast, On Being. I have much to say about what a pleasure it is to listen to Krista Tippett and the thoughtful conversations she has with thinkers, artists, scientists, writers. But for now, it isn't a stretch to say that it is life-changing. 

I am enamored with these Japanese towels I picked up at Canoe while we were in Portland last month. We have a small bathroom and no room for a proper towel rack, just hangers on the door so these quick to dry, soft and beautiful towels were a big upgrade. Plus they take up hardly any space in the linen closet.

I'm also in love with my new Hario kettle and teak trivet (also from Canoe)...

It was time for a new pair of wool slippers...

And a new pair of boots...

This Everlane shirt also just arrived on my doorstep and it is pretty perfect. 

Parenthood

I began writing this intending to talk about Jenny's post back in April about Catherine Newman's book Catastrophic Happiness, which I promptly added to my reading list. But I kept staring at a blank page unable to write. Feeling tapped out.

Life the last two months has felt rather full. Wonderfully full. But I've been doing a lot of "just keep your head down and let the momentum carry you" in an effort to keep myself from feeling overwhelmed.

My husband has been traveling nearly every week over the the last two months. Doing all the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, Lego building, preschool drop off and pick up and the bedtime routine solo and trying to keep my own teaching schedule going is proving to be a bit of a challenge. That said, as much as I feel overextended I feel equally grateful. We've paddled through some tough waters as we both ventured out to be self-employed right before the recession hit and everything tanked. And here we are a handful of years later on the other side of it, with a great deal of work that is meaningful to each of us. We are profoundly grateful. 

We are busy with work (just as everyone we know seems to be), and are in the thick of the child rearing years. There are never enough hours in the day to get it all done, nor will there ever be. And the things I'd like to do for myself quickly fall by the wayside - my own Pilates exercise, meditation, dance class, reading a book, writing a blog. I know that will change down the road. But right now I am working on fully embracing just being "in it."

“Life isn’t about avoiding trouble, is it? It’s about being present, even through the hard stuff, so you don’t miss the very thing you’re trying so hard not to lose. I understand all at once the title of a Zen book I haven’t even read: Full Catastrophe Living. That’s what I’m doing. It’s the full catastrophe, and I’m in it, and if I wait for it to be over, well, it will be over.”

So go on and read Jenny's post and if you need even more summer book reading recommendations, her latest post is just that. 

A few other little things...

More Catherine Newman, I also really love this article she wrote in the NY Times a while back about the importance of giving kids your undivided attention...or none at all.

And from the NY Times last week...

"The Chinese philosophers saw the world as one of endless, shifting relationships. That’s why they emphasized that we have influence over the trajectory of our lives when we focus not on who we are, our plans for the future, and self-assertion, but on learning how to relate well to others.

Caring for one another is hard work. It requires endless awareness, adaptation and responsiveness. But it is one of the most important and rewarding things we do. This is not just how our children will become better people and live better lives. It is how they can create a better world."

I am really enjoying listening to podcasts, especially Here's the Thing with Alec Baldwin. In the most recent one with Michael Pollan, Pollan talks about one of the best ways to remedy a picky eater - get them cooking in the kitchen.

I've also been wanting to share a bit about my son's 4th birthday party we had earlier in the month, especially the slow-roasted side of salmon I served which is a foolproof recipe everyone should know. I have a handful of favorite skincare products I'd love to talk about, loads more recipes and I finally found a really great, good-looking outdoor umbrella stand. I hope to get to all that soon.

80° in Seattle...in April

It has been over 80° in Seattle the last four days. For those of you not from here, this is pretty much unheard of around these parts...in April. Summer in Seattle is glorious but we usually have to wait for those warmer temps until after July 4th. Needless to say Seattleites are walking around like it's a party, flocking to the beaches of Lake Washington during the day on a Monday.

My husband has been traveling non-stop so I've been taking more time off from teaching the last few weeks to hang with my boy. We've not done much else lately except plant in the garden, indulge in popsicles and watch Octonauts. I don't have too much else to report although here are a few things occupying my mind this week...

Well said Kurt. 

I'm really digging the looks of this sweater. And this tie-front shirt.

Our house is west facing and we're up off the street so we get a lot of sun exposure. We've planted our rockery and parking strip with lots of sun-happy, drought tolerant plants like rosemary and lavender. This "Helmsdale" spanish lavender is my favorite variety. After the first year, it is totally hands-off. I never cut it back and it maintains a soft, full shape. The flowers are a deep purple and the scent is heavenly.

Given the warmer temps, we've been having big salads for dinner every night this week. Our Heath salad bowl is our go to.  It is shallow and 13" in diameter and makes for a perfect presentation. I'd like to make this beautiful salad in it next...

I've also been bringing out my old standby Gap denim jacket a lot lately. Mine's a few years old but it is just like this one. It is soft and not too fitted so I can easily wear a hoodie underneath it.

I've been consuming a lot of my favorite local Kombucha these days which makes a good stand-in for cocktail hour...

I've also been making Sarah's Goji Berry Lemonade (though I subbed maple syrup for the sweetener). I prefer it with with lemons but had some extra limes that needed to be put to use...

And finally I've been thinking a lot about this quote from Andy Puddicombe...

“One of my teachers used to say “Always keep death by your side.” At first glance that could be seen as rather gloomy, even comical. But it has real depth. Life races by, we miss so much, caught up in all the busyness of the mind. We go to bed and assume we will wake up. We wake up and assume we will go to bed at the end of the day. In doing so, we take our life for granted, we get so caught up in things that we miss the opportunity to connect with those around us in the way we would like to. But if we remember our mortality, we start to appreciate the preciousness of life, we become more calm, have more perspective, and are more able to affect positive change in the world.”

— Andy Puddicombe

From here.