by Kelsi in , ,


I have about a dozen draft posts saved but nothing fully written. I've been hibernating a bit the last few weeks recharging. I started the new year feeling exhausted and it was time to go back to the basics of good self-care which for me includes taking a break from coffee, a break from the news, putting myself in bed by 9:30pm and doing my daily Pilates exercises. It's working. I'll be back soon but in the meantime...

These IDLF selvedge jeans look pretty perfect.

And some reading material...

An oldie but a goodie from last fall if you missed it, Sherry Turkle's NYT article "Stop Googling. Let's Talk."

"We've gotten used to being connected all the time, but we have found ways around conversation - at least from conversation that is open-ended and spontaneous, in which we play with ideas and allow ourselves to be fully present and vulnerable. But it is in this type of conversation - where we learn to make eye contact, to become fully aware of another person's posture and tone, to comfort one another and respectfully challenge one another - that empathy and intimacy flourish. In these conversations, we learn who we are."

Studies of conversation both in the laboratory and in natural settings show that when two people are talking, the mere presence of a phone on a table between them or in the periphery of their vision changes both what they talk about and the degree of connection they feel. People keep the conversation on topics where they won’t mind being interrupted. They don’t feel as invested in each other. Even a silent phone disconnects us.

The value of solitude is something that speaks to me personally so this passage especially resonated with me...

"In solitude we find ourselves; we prepare ourselves to come to conversation with something to say that is authentic, ours. If we can’t gather ourselves, we can’t recognize other people for who they are. If we are not content to be alone, we turn others into the people we need them to be. If we don’t know how to be alone, we’ll only know how to be lonely...when we are secure in ourselves, we are able to really hear what other people have to say. At the same time, conversation with other people, both in intimate settings and in larger social groups, leads us to become better at inner dialogue."

You can also find her book here